Let’s just admit it. We’re all made to share the earth with one another and none of us really like it. It’s why you stare at each person that gets on the bus until they find a seat. It would be a tragedy if anyone picked the seat next to you. Somehow the concept of public transportation eludes you. It doesn’t make you a bad person just because you want your personal space. The truth of the matter is that the moment you step outside the sanctuary of your home you enter public space. No other public space will test your character like the close confinements of the elevator.
You dread the thought of anyone getting on the elevator. It’s as if you are entitled to ride alone. We’ve all done it, pretended not to see someone coming toward the elevator. You slide into the corner and press close. We’re not proud, but we’re honest. But if we all follow the guidelines set forth by proper elevator etiquette, we can all live in a more comfortable world and you can avoid being one of the most annoying people on the elevator.
There are two kinds of people in this world when it comes to riding the elevator; the border and the rider. Boarders need to get on the elevator, and riders are already on the elevator. Either can practice bad elevator etiquette. In my opinion the most annoying type is the border.
Dear magician boarder, please stop pressing the elevator button even though it is lit because I have obviously already pressed it. You don’t have magic powers that will bring the elevator faster and I’m not just standing around because I like the scenery of elevators.
Dear lazy boarder, please don’t stop my elevator ride so that you can ride up one floor when you are fit enough to take the stairs.
Dear line breaker boarder, please don’t run for the elevator that dings. There is a line for a reason.
Dear aggressive boarder, please allow me to get off of the elevator before you push yourself on. This only slows us both down or begins an awkward dance.
And lastly, impatient boarder, please wait for the next elevator when you see my elevator is already full. I don’t want to see you get stuck trying to squeeze between the doors.
Dear invisible rider, I see you. Please don’t press the close button really quickly so that I miss the elevator. You’re rude.
Dear statue rider, please move. I can’t get on or off the elevator if you’re standing in the way.
Dear flu rider, why are you here? Please don’t make me sick by giving your germs nowhere to go in this small space.
Dear cellphone rider, please be quiet. I don’t care about what you did over the weekend.
Dear small talk rider, please refer to cellphone rider.
Dear Tetris rider, we aren’t in a video game. Please face forward and stop trying to fit better in the elevator.
We will all take on one roll or the other eventually. Hopefully with these rules we can all pass on better manners in the elevator.